Dear Upstairs Neighbour,
I hope all that hammering after 11pm is going to result in a perfect row of beautiful art on your walls for you to marvel at. I want you to have beauty in your life. I want it to get inside you and shape who you are as a person. Art makes us better, I truly believe that.
What I don’t understand is why you have to keep switching where these pictures are every few days. Do you do that to challenge yourself? I respect that, I really do, but is 11pm the only time to adjust the placement of your picture nails? Couldn’t 11am do the trick? By this point, haven’t you got a picture nail in every single inch of your walls?
It’s nice knowing I live so close to someone who truly understands the power of art. Though I wish you could give yourself permission to sit back and admire it after 11pm rather than forcing yourself to physically hang it. Your commitment to perfect art placement is, of course, breathtaking. I guess the fact that it’s after 11pm is just a minor technicality in the wider scheme of things. Art waits for no man.
I hope it’s beautiful up there. In my mind, the alignment of your pictures makes the angels sing, and cry.
With deepest respect,
Your Downstairs Neighbour
Dear Downstairs Neighbour,
Thank you very much for your honest and respectful words. The hammering did indeed result in my walls being adorned with several works of art. If it is any consolation, all the pictures show ancestors and relatives of mine. As you may have concluded already my family is rather large. Since the space on my walls is indeed limited, I attempted to reduce the number of pictures by only hanging the portraits of the women in my family.
When I had decided to put them in chronological order, it occured to me, that the overall impression seemed not quite convincing. So I opted for an alphabetical order instead. I admit that idea came to me rather late in the evening, but when inspiration strikes you, what can you do?
I took a picture of the walls the following day and sent it to my mother, who called me at 11pm only to say how appalled great aunt Amelia would have been to be placed directly next to Louisa the Third, whom she despised. My mother made it very clear to me, that Amelia’s restless spirit would haunt my apartment forever, unless I made an effort to change the place of her picture. You might understand that I would not want to risk a ghost haunting my apartment, much less the ghost of great aunt Amelia, who wasn’t even a very pleasant person to be around when alive and I doubt the state of her decay did much to alleviate her fear of getting old and wrinkly. But that’s family for you.
Please accept my sincere apologies for the acoustic distress my pedigree paneling has caused you.
Your Upstairs Neighbour